Friday, 14 April 2017

Yearly post

Early Hannah and Lana Birthday Party
8 april 2017


Dear all, 
Seems like i'm doing a yearly post nowadays. 
I forgot how writing had been helping me and calming me down previously. 
It help me to express my feeling. and I think, not many people knew about my blog. 
So, I'm able to write freely. 

Its been a year since I start working. Exactly 4th April 2016, I started working as a houseman. Not a functioning houseman initially. Its took some time to become a functioning houseman. If you know what I meant. Still adapting. Oh, night shift tonite at o&g department. Hope everything goes well. 

I feel like I'm losing myself. Where is the old me? The fun me? The enthusiastic me? The now me is like living but without really living. Zombie maybe? Haha. But true enough. I have been going to work according to the shifts given, went back home, and sleep. The routine goes on. 

I need something to get me back to life! 
I need adrenaline rush. I need something for me to look forward to. 
I need a vacay. 
I need you, but you always been so busy. 

Right now, i'm just glad for having my family member around. 
If i'm living alone. Maybe I'll look like a zombie rite now. 

Lots of love, 
26 years old malay lady. 

Saturday, 18 June 2016

Life Bumps

dan salam sejahtera...

Its been a while since I do some writing here. A lot of past travelling history, but havent documented it yet. Hurm. Life nowadays is hard. Being a doctor is a challenge. I dont know whether I can cope with it or not. Trying so hard. Until I feel like - not to try anymore. Everyday I felt like quitting this game of life. 

To read or not to read. There's off day. Once a week. But I always and always use it to have some fun. End up during the night, I fell asleep and not reading any books. And getting scold the next day because not knowing anything. My fault. Too much enjoying my offday. 

Family. All I need is their support. Not criticism. Not judgement. Not high hope. I'm struggling here. Please understand. 

Its Ramadhan. And I havent really been a good muslim during this festive month. 

Now, I dont think I know who I am anymore. I'm lost. Lost in this busy life. Lost in this hectic life. Lost in this miserable life. Lost in this complicated life. 

I wish I can just fly away and run away from this life. 

Yours Truly. 
Writer of this blog.

Thursday, 10 March 2016

Few last days in Nizhny Novgorod

Dr. Siti Hajar M.D. (NNSMA)
dan salam sejahtera...
If you guys have been following my blog as before, I did wrote few posts regarding how I spent my last few days in Nizhny. I want to make it as memorable as possible. This is the place I grew up. From a teenager to a woman. Literally I mean. From 18 years old till 24 years old. This is my story...
Nizhny Novgorod. A city in Russia located about 500 km north-east from Moscow. A city used to be called Gorky - the name of the famous poet and writer, Maksim Gorky. A city I used to live. A city I whereby I started to learn about life. Being strong is a criteria that we need to build in order to live in Russia. The weather. The people. The perceptions. The truth and lies. It what make me who I am today. 
So, this was how I spent my last three days in Nizhny before going back for good. It was on 12th July 2015. There was a photography session held by Bashir and Ameerul. Luckily for us, they worked as a professional photographer. Trying to make it perfect with whatever we had. Look at the background of the picture below! Hehe. Now you understand what I mean. 
Bashirushdan taking photo of Seong. While others standing waiting for their turn.
Taraaaa. Laksa sarawak riched with flavours!
At the same day, my overly attached groupmates spending the last 'makan-makan' for our group. It was Laksa Sarawak day! Since Jona, Karen and I had so much paste that we needed to finish before going back, we made the laksa full with flavours. Most of us were going back in few days time. So, there's a lot of chicken, prawn, mee hun to eat. Yummy!
The next day, I have only 24 hours left before my flight. So, what should I do? Spending time at the shopping mall won't make it interesting as there'll be a lot more shopping mall in Malaysia. I decided to take my last walk through The Walking Road - Balshaya Pakrovskaya with Farahin. We walked together, snapping pictures, enjoying the view and walk back home. But I did dropped by the post office to buy a parcel box to post back home. 
Altogether, I posted around 6 or 7 of 10 kg parcels back home. When it reached home, I dont even know where to put all my stuffs! What am I suppose to do? All of them have sentimental value to me. But no worries fellow friends, all of them already kept safe in my closet today. Hooray!
Last picture at The Walking Street. Look, there's a van behind me!
Parcels to be send home. Hey, not all of these were mine! It's Shahan and Amir's too.
Apart from that, my roomate and I wanted to eat the Squid Ink Spagetti and cheesecake for the last time at Biblioteka (The Library Restaurant). Suddenly my lecturer, Anton Vladimirovic gave me a called. If you remember, I did met him in my last post. He was in town and he wanted to meet me for dinner after he completed the surgery for the chief of surgeon big toes. He is a trauma surgeon. 
So, we decided to meet there, at biblioteka. Turned out, there's a lot of my batchmates were going there too to enjoy 'buka puasa' together. So, we ate till the restaurant was closed and he sent me and Aini back home. He is a great surgeon though.
Meet my lecturer, Anton.
The strong yet kind makcik guard for our hostel.
The next day, it was 14th July 2015. My flight from Nizhny to Moscow was early in the morning. Around 7 am, so I needed to be there much earlier. I decided to take a taxi at 5 am. Lucky for me, I had a very nice makcik guard to open the hostel door early in the morning. Yup. There are many women guards in Russia. It shows that women are strong as well as men. 
Alhamdulillah. I have a very great friends who wanted to send me off down at the hostel, and to the airport. Thank you all for waking up just to send me off. Really appreaciated all the efforts you guys made for me. A special thanks to Adila, Farahin, and Karen for sending me off at the airport. It was sweet of you girlfriends! Miss you girls already.
Nabilah, Aini, Arinie, Aqilah, Atirah, Seong, and Bashir. 
At the Nizhny Airport....

That's all for now
Thank you for readin'